Indulging Actual Interests

Online dating wasted much time. Almost everyone lacked interests and purpose. They consumed entertainment and food and then traveled for the purpose of social media bragging. They were zombies who complied with the regime and repeated opinions from news programs with no actual thoughts of their own. They seemed to love their soulless confinement and could not imagine being otherwise.

City girls acted like hippies without a care or role-played as servants to serious careers, between wine and drug binges that ensured they never did anything interesting or contemplated life. Some will recover from failure, but whether 1 in 10 or 1 in 100, the odds are stacked against escaping from a constellation of entrenched mistakes pulling downward.

You can't fault anyone for bland conformity. No one knows anything in their 20s and can't discern what's good or useless, so they mostly bounce around pursuing the useless. At 30 they realize it's too late and will settle for anything.

How are you supposed to fall in love with someone vacuous? Maybe others could fake it for the opportunity of meeting someone while looking away from inherent undirectedness. Maybe others schemed of ways to restore purpose and separate the consumer from a multitude of destructive habits distancing them from reality.

My approach was to filter the worst 99.99% away and see how prospects played out. It's unrealistic to think you can change anyone, but you can demonstrate a few things to unsettle some of the foundation of errors that have crept in and made home. It's good to wreck what is fraudulent and inadequate. You can nudge them in small ways and plant seeds so they can grow more rich, but the bulk of the work to nourish a vivid soul and make their lives excellent they must do for themselves, which comes easier as they eventually realize:

• Millions of others have done it and are currently doing it.
• It is qualitatively far superior.
• Time is most precious and soon gone. Don't wait. Waiting is death.
• Operate from capability to increase strength, not from fear. Fear is false.
• Giving up what you realize doesn't fit creates opportunity.
• No one can or will help you. You must wisely ascertain worthwhile goals and then reach them, otherwise your time will be squandered on inferior aims or nothingness.
• Move towards the general direction of advance. You can't notice many details until you are closer to your target, and can then refine.
• It takes a little work, and it is better to spend towards getting results than wasting life gently tolerating foolishness and error.
• Idle complaints, blame, and remaining amongst failure are loser behaviors; good outcomes are ready to be achieved.
• It is natural to create a rewarding life for yourself, which is separate from media distractions and ideological movements. Ignore opinions from sources perpetually adjacent to failure and ruination.

The joy of being single is you don't have to coordinate or compromise. When something calls to you, you can explore it immediately at depth for months or years as necessary, through various forms and relations. There are no social expectations, boundaries, or limits on your time. You don't have to lie or stay silent about forbidden truths. The world is utterly clear and simple when you don't need to keep two sets of books.

When movies captured my interest, I set about checking out the best movies ever rather than whatever inferior products were being promoted at the moment.

I tracked opera, concerts, theatre, and ballet schedules from the finest groups performing in US and European venues, combining these trips with world class restaurants and explorations of whatever else was superior in those cities and nearby. Travel was for a purpose and from a calling. Foods that thrilled me inspired recipe experimentation. Wagner's Ring cycle with the machine necessitated a week in NYC. In Europe, a weekend's decision often has to be made between opera in Milan, an orchestra in Vienna, or Paris ballet.

At the time my awareness of these performances and my need to see them seemed so essential that putting aside the time and money for them was easy. Having taken in the best art ever conceptualized and internalizing its spirit has given lasting rewards, but the madness of this pursuit now seems absurdly indulgent.

When called to a pursuit you must necessarily commit fully. You don't know why, but you can't know why because you have no way of valuating what you are ignorant of and at best can only estimate from perceptions of early projections on the total reward given successful pursuit. The artistry of what is great and lasting stirs the passions.

If I wanted to go hiking, or bike for miles, or drive through distant mountains, or exercise at strange hours, it was all possible. There is nothing more healthy than avoiding the constraints of dating. It was not my duty to entertain girls or relegate choices to socially appropriate activities.

You could lose a lot of time trying to fake norms and tolerate their vapidity. It's boldly better to spend time doing what you actually enjoy to gain both a wide and deep appreciation of the world. Perhaps someone later will share a little common ground appropriate to their own interests and understanding.