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The degree to which values and ideals are handed down from parents to
children is well accepted, even in popular culture. Thus the phrase
"ego-children" emerges to describe children that are raised so that
they satisfy the ego of their parents, affirming the values and ideals
that the parents consider to be part of their self-image. Though
parental imprinting of children is widespread and even encouraged,
it will only be until later in this century that certain aspects of
imprinting will be correctly understood as constituting child abuse.
A child is naturally accepting of the world. Generally anything
said or done by parents is considered sane, normal, and correct to
the child. Thus parents who crusade to brainwash their children
into clones of themselves will generally receive no resistance in
their quest to impose religious, political, or cultural values upon an
open and impressionable mind. A child is typically given these ideas
by their parents and as an adult will defend them as truth -- not for
rational reasons, but because that is what they were told to believe
as children.
When confronted by this, most people will quickly assert that this does
not apply to them because they have a few different ideas than their
parents, though they seem unable to recognize or understand that on the
whole they are a result of their genetic and environmental conditioning
even if some superficial differences exist. It is only the rare cases
where a child has a strong independent spirit and is raised with respect
for its autonomy that something new can emerge. Even then, the child
will inevitably be colored in some ways as a result of its parents.
The serious problems begin emerging when parents do not honor that
a child is a blank slate of new possibilities but instead want to
create clones of themselves to serve a static order. A child saddled
with their parents' political dogma, delusional reality (e.g. an
anthropomorphized god, heaven, resurrection, holiness, sin), and
general misconceptions about life may be led so far astray that they
will never be able to taste truth as an adult. Whether not knowing any
better or being arrogantly self-congratulatory about their perceived
independence, they are likely to perpetuate the abuse they suffered
as they indoctrinate their own children in the same erroneous beliefs.
Nature generates new life and kills old life so that new possibilities
always have a chance of coming into the world. Adults are the stagnant
form of children, proven best by how adults rarely have new ideas,
sustained inspiration, or demonstrate any significant capacity for
growth or creativity while children have these qualities in abundance.
Though an adult's envy and lost hope account for much of the praise of
a child's infinite potential and persistently fresh outlook, many
adults take pride in mentioning the distinction that they are steady
in character and routine. Somehow they take credit for this as if it
was a deliberate choice on their part rather than a spiritual defect
that grew over time into a cancerous existential inertia that keeps
them entrapped.
At a certain age, a child discovers that monsters in the closet, Santa
Claus, and the Tooth Fairy are only imaginary beings. Though these may
be socially popular and commercially represented, eventually children
will intuitively sense that adults do not take these things seriously
and their existence will be questioned. We all have memories of when
we discovered these lies and we know that children reflect on what
they know of the world and consider whether these beings are real or
merely socially accepted lies that serve some other purpose.
Children are much smarter than they are given credit for. A child
eventually recognizes that he has never actually seen a monster in
his closet, not been harmed by or even spoken to one, and though all
of these are theoretically possible, it is more likely that the idea
of monsters is a popular fabrication. Likewise, the story of Santa
Claus seems not only improbable, but also nonsensical. The idea of
elves toiling in a far away workshop that has never been witnessed
and can never be visited seems suspect. Similarly, a sleigh
supposedly led through the air by flying reindeer and an omniscient
but benevolent jolly man in a red suit appears absurd on its face
and lacks any credible counterpart in reality. Yet, every year
there are millions of children who have been raised to believe the
lies and eagerly seek their affirmation, a role which adults are all
too happy to play out with costumes, rituals, events, and tall tales
so they can keep the illusion alive.
Monsters and Santa Claus are hardly the worst lies that parents
teach their children, but they are an example of how a child's trust
and innocence are manipulated without consideration for the effects.
If the preservation of a child's autonomy is not achieved by breaking
the pattern of imprinted dogma, the cycle of abuse will continue
unabated. It is essential that parents become aware of the cycle
and pledge to not force their children into the role of ego clones.
Nature prospers when it is allowed a fresh start. Consequently it
rewards those who are not crippled by fraudulent misconceptions while
penalizing the deluded who are forced to suffer for the errors they
have chosen or inherited. Humans are the remarkable in that they are
the only animals that invent illusions to distance themselves from
nature and then take these illusions as truth despite the consequences.
Parents owe it to their children and their belief in the potential of
the future to not spread more lies disguised as the generous gifts of
adult wisdom.
-Jesus |