Mind over Matter

Rather than writing off someone who is wasting their life away with frivolity, assume they will come out of their tailspin in a few years. This requires honest and innocent belief in the possibility, and is helped with the mantra: they will be fine in five years. After a few utterances it becomes easy to give them plenty of space and time to work through everything they need to.

The respect for autonomy is premised on the faith that if left to their own devices, they will gradually become self-aware and gain control of their facilities, at which point they will cease what is harmful and degrading.

If you intervene to point out an error, can they be expected to gain consciousness of errors so they can begin perceiving them generally?

If you intervene to teach the merits of an idea, will they become engines of thought, or repeaters of a single concept?

If you intervene to instill sensible behavior, do they gain ability for pragmatic aims, or as followers of a command?

Demonstrating improvements they could make often insults from its implications of their actions in the past and present. Getting close to their potential does not interest them, nor the opportunities of life it would unlock. Mentioning great value about to be lost forever is not a winning argument either. You must look away from this terrible squandering and say nothing, or the energies of their potential will surely be expended in social arguments fighting to stay unrefined.

Their struggle is solely against themselves, a fierce and wily opponent they must master. They must know not to give in and become tamed into weary dispassion, nor to accept rules made by others for others, nor tolerate distractions, nor seek hiding in finery, but to discover the fitting purpose that belongs to them.

As nothing told to them will be considered enough for its root to be internalized, they must see for themselves what everyone else wishes could be shown them, and they they must decide they want a good outcome enough that they will do what is needed to deserve it.