Venerate Jugglers

There is nothing heroic, brave, or noble about basketball. Players try to put a ball in a hoop and repeat the effort until time runs out. Spectators offer themselves as unwitting comic-tragic figures by passively staring at this inanity for hours.

Bored watchers cheer because they have forgotten how to achieve satisfaction by being somebody and doing things, and then to demonstrate their obedience to cloying spectatorship purchase jerseys so they can pretend to be the ball throwers they revere. Basketball is a business and they are consumers. Without money to be made and rubes from whom to extract it, basketball would only be a sport for participants, played in gyms and playgrounds, not watched by people who have made themselves empty by removing purpose and meaning from their lives.

If we're going to have a spectacle, let's start promoting jugglers instead of basketball players. Juggling is an impressive skill that children and the untrained can't do easily, and though its best performers are also well paid, as are all with expertise, no one proposes that jugglers are heroes or should be confused for them.

We are happy to watch the juggler for a few minutes, and are impressed and well sated for years, set free from having to waste hours and good days of our short lives observing morons repeatedly trying to put balls into hoops.