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One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. -Nietzsche

  June 5, 2011

Embracing Dysfunction

To best enjoy dating in the modern landscape, ignore all of the obvious obstacles preventing positive outcomes and take no action, even easy ones, to make things right. Rather, tolerate everything leading to dead ends and mutually assured destruction, pretending they don't exist. By living only in the moment, you can enjoy what is there today without any expectations or preparations for the future. It's modern society asserting itself: meant to be disposable, deliberately made not to last.

If you are accustomed to responsibility, this will be difficult at first. In the real world, you can't complete a project with ambiguous goals and unclear actions, nor run a division without strategic intent. In the dating world, a purposeful objective is hampering. Most of us can improvise well for any situation, but here it is the only method in play.

You are entering a different world with different expectations.

It's a dystopia like diversity in that you should expect nothing to succeed, but if it does, it happens despite all efforts against it, whether by sheer random luck or an underlying strength that outlasts the forces working against good results. And it is a totalitarian dictatorship that is so open minded that no alternatives, rational assessments, or corrections are acceptable.

Overlook and say nothing critical to an attractive, smart, well educated girl who is doing herself harm with repeated bad choices. Every choice is equal and to be tolerated. Who could ever judge? Despite everything in her favor to have a good life, she is wrecking herself and won't wake up until she has burnt herself out and come to a rest, now sparkless.

That's the end game, and many can see where small things create the future years in advance, but don't let it bother you. It's possible that she'll see it too and decide not to go the way of the rest. Just not likely.

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