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One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. -Nietzsche

  December 23, 2010

Oil and Kindness Enough

Breakups are fun and exciting for their definitive assessment that we cannot make a life together; we cannot even make next week enjoyable so should part ways forever.

But this grand proclamation like all ostentatious gestures is mostly fraud and concealment. The feeling may be genuine, but its cause remains hidden unless she was caught in the act. Women are smart and know the danger and pointlessness of telling the truth. When she says she doesn't think the relationship could work, she's right! She has a new one ready and you are now an irrelevant annoyance.

Insightfully correct! How could you have a relationship when she is involved with someone else? And it is not just her other lovers that has killed it for you, but that she no longer cared enough to stay away from flattering suitors. A man can accommodate a harem with special love for each bride, but woman tends to be especially treacherous with old lovers, fabricating negative, inflated tales about how awful the man was, how naive she was to spend a year with such a wretched man, and with apparent amnesia for what they had together and the actual cause of its demise.

The tell precedes the grand declaration for separation. She becomes argumentative about the trivial, an adamant killjoy, silent and standoffish, withdrawn, pursuant of fantasy, ratcheting up the tension while trapping herself so she can then make an overacted escape. Now until the near end, the couple can't have warm interactions or do anything interesting, and honesty was long ago slain. At the first sign of this bitterness, an impartial referee can call the relationship over -- the rest is a mess of sloppy drama, bad acting, and implausible dialogue.

And still this too is but nature's handiwork and should evoke a smile and appreciative nod like watching fresh life stirring on a spring morning. It is rare that two people could share interests, passions, goals, and outlook, so most attempts fail, which is far better than being obligated for life to a silly creature you once found interesting.

With benevolence and pragmatism, you should encourage the unhappy to leave, for mutual benefit, as there's no point carrying dead weight. We're in the 21st century and have progressed to free market laissez-faire relationships, rendering marriage and dating obsolete, needing no fictions or play acting to artifically bind us. If we enjoy someone's company, we will choose to spend time with them and when it has run its course, we can part amicably.

Life offers no promises, and we should not seek to make false ones.

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